


General Organa's List of Things You May No Longer Do

by witchoil



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Background Wedge Antilles, Crack, F/M, Humor, M/M, Resistance (Star Wars) - Freeform, offscreen romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-08
Updated: 2016-01-08
Packaged: 2018-05-12 16:07:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5672035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/witchoil/pseuds/witchoil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For a TFA Kink Meme Prompt:<br/>"Kylo's defected to the Resistance and now he and Rey are a thing. Finn and Poe have been a thing since day one. Both couples seem to be trying to outdo each other with the PDA and overall shenanigans. Everyone is sick of it, especially Leia. I'd like to read her List of Things these four are no longer allowed to do."</p><p>Exactly what it says on the tin!</p>
            </blockquote>





	General Organa's List of Things You May No Longer Do

**Author's Note:**

> I struggled with toeing the line between "official memo" and "pure crack", but either way I hope it's funny!
> 
> Can be found on the kmeme here: http://tfa-kink.dreamwidth.org/1082.html?thread=306234#cmt306234
> 
> EDIT: Thank you guys so much for all of the kudos and the wonderful comments! Seriously I didn't expect it to get very much attention at all, so I appreciate it a bunch! School just started up again, so I can't promise I'll have a ton of time to add more, but I will totally try to whip up a few shorts of the stories behind the rules. Let me know in the comments if there's anything in particular you want to see! :)

<Open Transmission>

 --

 **Origin:** General Leia Organa  
**Range:** All Personnel  
**Order Status:** Effective Immediately  
**Subject:** Prohibited On-Base Activities 

Greetings Resistance Fighters,

What follows is a crucial memo to be effective immediately with regards to activities which may be disruptive to on-base operations. Please read the order carefully. Take time to consider if your actions are in line with furthering the aims of the resistance and take motions to adjust them accordingly.

You know who you are.

Regards,  
Gen. Organa 

 --

<Open Attachment 1>

 --

**A List of Things Which You May No Longer Do**

  1. You may no longer share bunks unless specifically instructed to do so by a superior officer in the case of a shortage of facilities.
  2. This includes full-size bunks which “were made for two, anyways, General”.
  3. This also includes bunks in barracks which appear to be otherwise empty at the time of your occupancy.
  4. This applies to _all_ personnel, including those who may otherwise have sway due to rank or social status among the troops, up to and including ace pilots.
  5. You may no longer employ schemes to “conserve water” with your fellow personnel when using the communal ‘freshers unless specifically instructed to do so by a superior officer in the event of a shortage of supplies.
  6. This rule applies also to the private ‘freshers.
  7. You may no longer override the unlocked setting on doors of supply cabinets or maintenance corridors.  
  8. You may no longer use supply cabinets or maintenance corridors as areas for socialization with fellow personnel. Public areas have been provided for this specific purpose and the use of “socialization” as an excuse for your presence in these semi-private facilities is subject to an official infraction.
  9. You may no longer use official Resistance equipment such as X-Wings, freighters, or speeders as areas for socialization with fellow personnel.
  10. This rule applies to mechanics, both on and off-duty.
  11. This rule _especially_ applies to pilots, both on and off-duty.
  12. You may no longer use Resistance-issue holopads for the transmission or reception of private, unverified messages.
  13. This rule incurs a double-penalty when broken during a personnel meeting.
  14. This rule incurs a triple-penalty when the messages are found to be obscene by the commanding officer issuing the infraction or by General Organa.
  15. You may no longer utilize connections of or sensitivies to the Force as a method of under-the-table communication unless given leave to do so by a superior officer.
  16. This rule incurs a quadruple-penalty when broken during a personnel meeting involving any participant.
  17. General Organa would like to remind the Resistance that, although she is not a Jedi Knight like some personnel, she can sense the passing of feeling through the Force and can sometimes decipher its meaning. So, yes, she did sense that, and she would rather just forget about it.
  18. You may no longer use bunks, barracks, or private quarters for “training purposes.”
  19. You may no longer use bunks, barracks, or private quarters for “paired meditation exercises.”
  20. You may no longer use communal or private ‘freshers for “physical conditioning” or “sensory resistance training.”
  21. You may no longer claim salvage for personal use without approval from a superior officer.
  22. This goes doubly for micro engines and battery packs. We know what you are doing with them, and General Organa would encourage you to think how they might be made better use of by the maintenance division as well as remind you that this is what stipends are for.
  23. On a related note: you are no longer permitted to take supplies from the medical bay without signed permission from the chief medical officer. This includes: ointments, oils, salves, rubber gloves, medical tape, silicone, petroleum jelly, and any of the other supplies on which we have been running unexpectedly short.
  24. General maintenance reports will no longer be accepted for incidents without at least _three_ corroborating accounts of what happened, as both one and two accounts have been found to be insufficient. If you cannot explain it to your general’s satisfaction, you will have to fix it yourself and will responsible for the expense.
  25. You are no longer permitted to practice “advanced Force techniques” outside of the designated Jedi training quarters.
  26. You are no longer permitted to practice “advanced Force techniques” _within_ the designated Jedi training quarters without supervision from Master Skywalker or a superior officer assigned by General Organa.
  27. Maintenance reports filed as the result of practicing “advanced Force techniques” will no longer be answered, period. Yes, this includes the damage to the bunk. No, we will not be fixing it, and General Organa thinks the change should give a certain Jedi Knight errant the opportunity to meditate on his choices.
  28. The use of droids to ferry materials to other personnel which do not pertain explicitly to Resistance missions is now prohibited. That is not the intended use for the BB unit’s storage compartments and you know it.
  29. Specifics regarding whose responsibility it is to clean the cab of your craft are shifting. Those notified by Sergeant Antilles should be aware that maintenance is no longer responsible for keeping your craft clean due to too many infractions for proper use, complaints, or both. (Please note that you may find, attached, a list of specific grievances drafted by the maintenance department. If you have been notified by the chief of engineering, the document is mandatory reading. However, it is highly encouraged that all personnel read the report as a lesson in what not to do.)
  30. Lastly, General Organa would like to remind you that the _Millenium Falcon_ is both a Resistance asset and quasi-historical artifact. Its maintenance and treatment are of the utmost importance to many from both a practical and morale standpoint. However, if you are still tempted to break protocol on the vessel, General Organa reminds you that its captain’s quarters have been around for many years and have been put to much use, at one time by General Organa herself. It is a place that holds many memories and many stories, some which are appropriate to be repeated at dinner in the mess and some which are not.
  31. This also applies to the _Falcon’s_ cockpit.




End file.
